Empathy & Telepathy: The Right Touch

Many credible people disagree with me on the following subjects. But I figure these articles are supposed to come from personal experience, so I give you mine.

To me, there is not much distinction between empathy and telepathy. If I am receiving a telepathic message from someone there is no escaping also feeling the empathy that comes with said message. And vice versa, when I pick up empathy, a little bit of telepathy can't help but creep its way in there. Again, this is my experience, and many of you can separate the two easily.

I wanted to talk today about how touch applies to both of these. We've become a society of no physical contact. I am as much a part of the problem as anyone else, but I have my own reasons for it. Connecting to someone else on such an intimate level (whether it be empathy, telepathy, or touch) can be a tricky, confusing, and overwhelming sensation.

I am a healer by trade. I hold a masters of science in traditional Chinese medicine, and a few other boring degrees as well. I touch people for a living for the duration of my workday. I have made several observations since starting my practice, and I'd like to share some of those with you.

When I put my hands on someone, I am instantly "in tune" with why they've come and sought out my services. Something clicks in my brain, and I just know. While I may not get subjective specifics (I'm not a psychotherapist; it's not my business) their energy, or demeanor, or whatever you want to call it speaks volumes.

For example, I have a patient. She is in her 60s, happily married with grown kids - really cool woman. The first time I set my hands on her, I felt sad and even traumatized. Once I realized that these were not my own emotions, I surmised that I was picking these feelings up from her. She later told me she'd been raped many years ago, and is still dealing with the whole "safe touch" issue. I of course accommodated her to the point of feeling comfortable. And we still work on those issues together, making incredible progress.

Another patient is a man in his 30s. The moment I put my hands on him, alarm bells went off in my head. He ended up acting inappropriately towards me at the end of the session, and I ended the session.

So armed with this experience, I decided to do some experimentation of my own - outside of the work environment. For the last few months, I've taken every opportunity to touch the hand of the person I'm talking to. I've had the same results as my work experience 100% of the time.

I find that people can talk and talk and talk, but are never able to express themselves to the point where anyone "gets" them. While they're talking/confiding/whatever, a slight touch to their hand can bring you to a level of understanding that they've probably never experienced before from anyone. Suddenly you "get" who they are and what they're trying to say - or not say in some cases. And isn't that what we all crave? Someone to "get" us?

You can be that person, if you're up to the task.

First I suggest reading Gnome's Sensitivity Manual to brush up on the awareness jig. This will help you greatly in your sensitivity for the journey of touch you're about to embark on.

This works in romantic relationships as well, as I've more recently found. Where I used to be very anti-touch because I didn't want to deal with anyone else's crap, I've changed my position. Hand holding, a hug, a sweet kiss can connect you to someone like you'd never thought again possible.

I know you're reading this, tapping your foot, waiting for the technique I use, explained step by step. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but such a technique doesn't exist.

My challenge, instead, to you all is to get your hands (NON INTRUSIVELY) on as many people as possible. Seek out those opportunities. We've all been there - to comfort someone, to share in someone else's joy, to just plain be a friend. Touch them. See what you get from that touch. What are they thinking? What are they feeling? How does that differ from what they are saying?

Good luck to you all